Mister Sandbag
From PiedPipersHouseOfPong
(Revised 2nd Ed. – Copyright Dec 2008)
Mister Sandbag! Mister Sandbag! - Bag sand for me!
How can anyone beat the team that has Coach Mui?
If only we could have a Sandbagger on our Team!
Then we too - could create a winning Pong scheme
"The Mighty General" seems to think this fact is so
Those sandbaggers tend to steal the whole Pong show
But how can any of us be sure of any certain Ponger?
If we claim "dirty sandbagger" for very much longer?
If "sandbagger" is the only Pong thought relevant
What about real improvement as like Heaven-sent?
Can we discuss a Pong player's genuine growth stride?
Will the Mighty General's penalty points ever subside?
Sandbaggers belong not to the noble Sport of Pong
But to Shady Billiards in dusty joints in Hong Kong
Or to skillful Gambler's with wild cards on a Riverboat
Leaps in ability – well that just helps keep Pong afloat
Improving Pongers should not be thrown in a moat
With penalty points thrown their way to end the gloat
How would anyone improve throughout Pong land?
If time after time they are accused of "bagging sand"?
Sand has no dollar value - merely worthless silicone
To make the lyrics rhyme – Piper doesn't work alone
But Captain Long Pips is certainly no Pied Piper clone
We ask if Sandbaggers use inverted or junk on the blade?
Someone! – Rescue the poor "General" - come to his aid
So Please Mr. Sandbag – Bag me some very fine sand
Smooth silky sand, as the best in all of the Pong land
Help all the Pongers to win with any chosen Pong style
We have no regrets if "The Mighty General" loses a smile
Strong men can throw sandbags left or throw sandbags right
The flood of ability levels -- reveals sandbags not packed tight
When the liquid of skill flows through the very porous sandbags
The former top Pongers can and will -- look like ugly old hags
One can't claim "Sandbagger!" just because you fail to win
Lest genuine Pong Player improvement be thought of as sin
The Pied Piper of Pong