The True Corruptors
From PiedPipersHouseOfPong
(copyright December 2007)
Since I harbor near the People’s Republic of Boulder
Where it’s the men who have hair flowing down their shoulders
Is it any wonder that I use a weapon tactically suited for soldiers
Who are more like a brick wall than a canine retriever?
Old age and treachery can prevail over youth and skill
Given insidious equipment and a tenacious will.
And as my aching knees limit my movement even still
The mysterious behavior of long pips made me a believer.
I listen not to those who complain that long pips are but unfair play
When it’s spinny rubber’s invention that changed everyone’s day
From the pure, chess-like hardbat strokes to D-13s offensive spray.
The cursed inverted sponge had Horoi Satoh as its conceiver.
Gone are the days when audiences could follow the ball
And the play on defense would raise cheers in the hall.
This game too fast with killer spins murdered the fan base for all.
To neutralize this madness, I became a piratesque deceiver.
Why shouldn’t table tennis players be forced to think?
There’s some ironic justice to return a loop with a dink.
I grin as the off-speed makes them whiff as they blink.
Robotic table tennis players are not such special achievers.
Captain Long Pips